johncomic: (Sweets)
Curmudge ([personal profile] johncomic) wrote2023-06-14 05:52 pm

baby steps

had an odd experience recently, related to the fact that I have struggled with my self-talk all my life:

My art studio has always been my kitchen table. [In recent years, this is largely because our table is very big and the light in the kitchen is excellent.] But my art supplies were stored in a back corner room. Just this week, I was urged to move my art supplies to some newly vacated shelf space in the kitchen, so they're handy and can inspire me while I sit and work.

And I admit, they are a sight to behold now: a shelf of exciting colours, boxes of watercolours and gouaches and acrylics and pastels, packs of canvases, pads of good paper. And once I got them settled into place and stood back to savour them, an inner voice suddenly said: All that stuff is wasted on me.

But immediately an inner voice said: Why the eff would I think something like that?! 

The significant part is that I intercepted and smacked down the negative self-talk at once, instead of letting myself marinate in it for who knows how long. I mean, it's still not great that I thought it in the first place, but at least I've grown a bit better at addressing it.


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