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Jan. 13th, 2019

johncomic: (Uncle Old Guy)
a bright beautiful [albeit cold] morning evoking beautiful memories
johncomic: (Face of Boe)
On more than one occasion, Barbara has remarked to me something along the lines of "you are such a loving person", and she says it in such a way as to imply that she means unusually so, more than she is used to seeing. And I do feel like that is a large part of who I am, both a romantic and a humanitarian. That being said, I had a strange spontaneous moment this morning:

While out driving alone this morning, I was consciously enjoying the peace (enhanced by the sunny beauty of the day). And I got thinking about how often lately I have been savouring peaceful moments when I find them, and making more efforts to seek those out. And thinking further about how important peace has become in my life. And then I had a sudden flash, an awareness of something shapeless but along the lines of: Peace is even more important than love. If I could only have love or peace in my life, never both, and had to choose, I would choose peace.

I never expected to find that in myself. And I don't know for sure that it's true. But it came up on its own, and it came from somewhere. I'm wondering if it was another spontaneous flash of non-attachment, similar to what I wrote about previously. Once again, I will need to sit with this...

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