something I am grateful for today

feeling restored

I slept pretty well last night, but by this afternoon I was so exhausted I could not keep my eyes open, and went to bed for three more hours.

The thing is, when I woke up after this mega-nap, I felt well rested and awake, refreshed and almost alert. And then I realized that this is the first time this year I can remember feeling that way. I am savouring it while I can!

unexpected lesson

When The Queen died a couple days ago, there was [to no one's surprise] a marked reaction around the world. Furthermore, I was not surprised to see some people hail this as a good thing... because I have seen increasing displeasure with British royalty expressed online over the last few years.

But I have seen some people expressing actual delight in her passing, as cause for celebration. And this does not sit well with me — I find it tasteless, at the very least. And I learned something about myself I wasn't quite clear on before: I believe that death should not be disrespected. [Hard for me to argue an objective case for this, it's just how I feel.]

It occurs to me now that even the death of someone I hate will not cheer me. Most of my life I have said that I don't hate anyone, it's just not in my nature. Nowadays I know this is no longer true: in the past decade, I have come to hate certain political figures, one in particular. I even wish him harm, after a lifetime of wishing no one harm. But I know now that, if he were to die, I would feel relief, and a certain sense of justice... but I would not rejoice. I would find even his death a sombre thing.

Not really going anywhere with this. I just didn't realize til now that this is one of my sub-rational beliefs.