partial year in review
Aug. 20th, 2019 06:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
johncomicAs I have said too many times already, this year has been my year for writing novels. Recently finished my fourth, and today I find myself feeling antsy because I have nothing to write. [In fact, I am posting this as an excuse to write something.] I noticed that, with my last book, I didn't properly outline it because I was in a hurry to skip that part of the process and get into the "actual writing", and my progress suffered as a result -- I would stop to work out bugs that should've been worked out in the outline, and the book ended up taking more time to write than the others did. I tell myself that I will rein myself in next time and outline properly first, which I have been working on doing the last couple weeks. But working on this sutff doesn't feel like writing.
I have also been doing essentially no drawing during this time of being a writer. A couple days ago, I made myself spend a while just doing some rough sketches and doodles. Two things I noticed during that session:
1) after about half an hour, my hand was sore and tired, so I have lost significant drawing stamina
2) the drawings didn't look rusty, so I at least haven't forgotten how to draw
This is not the first time in my life I have abandoned drawing for a long stretch of time. In the mid-90s my little brother bought recording equipment, and offered me the opportunity to record songs. So I spent a couple of years caught up in writing and arranging and recording some songs, and I had a blast doing it. But my cartooning fell by the wayside during that time.
This is so often the way with me: when I get into something, I go in the deep end. Some might say I get obsessive about it. And I derive conscious pleasure from the feeling of being caught up in a new artistic outlet. Sharon is much the same -- when she gets into something, it is never by halves. To me, her obsessions seem painted in brighter, more primary colours, and sometimes I worry about her. But maybe her obsessions look that way to me simply because they aren't mine.
There was a period in the mid-oughts when I spent several years not drawing, but also not replacing it with some other form of creating, either. I "couldn't think of anything to draw". But I found myself developing a passionate interest in classical music [don't even remember what triggered it]. I bought hundreds of albums, spent all evening every evening lying on the couch listening to them, I bought books and read articles online to learn more about this, always digging deeper, learning new composers and new works... I have done this with numerous musical genres and styles over the years. It's hard for me to get into something without wanting to become a scholar. I was seeing Barbara regularly during those years, and she saw this period as me struggling with depression. I don't remember her putting it quite this way, but she felt that my not drawing was a form of self-punishment. She has always felt that my drawing is something I need. I wonder if she would accept some other form of creativity [e.g., writing] as an acceptable alternative. Maybe she meant that I need to be creating. Someday I will ask.
But anyway, yes, I recognize that my obsessions come and go over time. I sometimes wonder if this is part of having what they call an addictive personality. I wonder if this is connected to why I took to drinking as quickly and heavily as I did in university, and why I am best off avoiding it.
And also, yes, I recognize that I have a tendency to become obsessed with people as well. And that is a whole nother story that I will save for another time...
I have also been doing essentially no drawing during this time of being a writer. A couple days ago, I made myself spend a while just doing some rough sketches and doodles. Two things I noticed during that session:
1) after about half an hour, my hand was sore and tired, so I have lost significant drawing stamina
2) the drawings didn't look rusty, so I at least haven't forgotten how to draw
This is not the first time in my life I have abandoned drawing for a long stretch of time. In the mid-90s my little brother bought recording equipment, and offered me the opportunity to record songs. So I spent a couple of years caught up in writing and arranging and recording some songs, and I had a blast doing it. But my cartooning fell by the wayside during that time.
This is so often the way with me: when I get into something, I go in the deep end. Some might say I get obsessive about it. And I derive conscious pleasure from the feeling of being caught up in a new artistic outlet. Sharon is much the same -- when she gets into something, it is never by halves. To me, her obsessions seem painted in brighter, more primary colours, and sometimes I worry about her. But maybe her obsessions look that way to me simply because they aren't mine.
There was a period in the mid-oughts when I spent several years not drawing, but also not replacing it with some other form of creating, either. I "couldn't think of anything to draw". But I found myself developing a passionate interest in classical music [don't even remember what triggered it]. I bought hundreds of albums, spent all evening every evening lying on the couch listening to them, I bought books and read articles online to learn more about this, always digging deeper, learning new composers and new works... I have done this with numerous musical genres and styles over the years. It's hard for me to get into something without wanting to become a scholar. I was seeing Barbara regularly during those years, and she saw this period as me struggling with depression. I don't remember her putting it quite this way, but she felt that my not drawing was a form of self-punishment. She has always felt that my drawing is something I need. I wonder if she would accept some other form of creativity [e.g., writing] as an acceptable alternative. Maybe she meant that I need to be creating. Someday I will ask.
But anyway, yes, I recognize that my obsessions come and go over time. I sometimes wonder if this is part of having what they call an addictive personality. I wonder if this is connected to why I took to drinking as quickly and heavily as I did in university, and why I am best off avoiding it.
And also, yes, I recognize that I have a tendency to become obsessed with people as well. And that is a whole nother story that I will save for another time...
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