something I am grateful for today
Aug. 19th, 2020 01:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
johncomicnot giving up
I haven't been painting much recently. I am too fussy about my working conditions. I like to work by daylight, so if it's too overcast, then "the light's no good". Also, in the summertime the kitchen gets too hot because it gets a lot of afternoon sun. And I paint at the kitchen table. (I also draw at the kitchen table -- it's my Workspace®.) So if it isn't overcast then "it's too hot to work". That's as may be.
Anyway, where I have normally been polishing off a painting in a day or two, I started this one the beginning of July and it's maybe half done. This painting has been discouraging me. I look at it and feel like it isn't right. I feel like I can't really do this and who have I been kidding all this time. It even makes me look back at my finished ones and tell myself that they aren't that hot. I have lost my painting fire lately.
But today....
Today was sunny and cool. Perfect working conditions for painting. And, no matter how discouraged I was, I always knew that I wanted to finish this painting anyway. So today I went back to it. And ended up working longer than I planned.
And what I did on it today is a bit better than I was expecting. When I eventually stopped, I felt like this piece is coming together finally. Not so very bad after all. I even looked at my old ones and they looked better than they did a few days ago. (I'm still a little disappointed that what I am doing is coming out looking Impressionist, and I keep yearning to capture more of a Fauvist/Blaue Reiter vibe, but today I am more content to let the work become what it is. Maybe I can rock my Fauvism next time.)
So, whatever was causing my mood, causing me to feel so negative about my painting, seems to have eased off some. I'm glad I pushed on and found my way to this somewhat better place.
I haven't been painting much recently. I am too fussy about my working conditions. I like to work by daylight, so if it's too overcast, then "the light's no good". Also, in the summertime the kitchen gets too hot because it gets a lot of afternoon sun. And I paint at the kitchen table. (I also draw at the kitchen table -- it's my Workspace®.) So if it isn't overcast then "it's too hot to work". That's as may be.
Anyway, where I have normally been polishing off a painting in a day or two, I started this one the beginning of July and it's maybe half done. This painting has been discouraging me. I look at it and feel like it isn't right. I feel like I can't really do this and who have I been kidding all this time. It even makes me look back at my finished ones and tell myself that they aren't that hot. I have lost my painting fire lately.
But today....
Today was sunny and cool. Perfect working conditions for painting. And, no matter how discouraged I was, I always knew that I wanted to finish this painting anyway. So today I went back to it. And ended up working longer than I planned.
And what I did on it today is a bit better than I was expecting. When I eventually stopped, I felt like this piece is coming together finally. Not so very bad after all. I even looked at my old ones and they looked better than they did a few days ago. (I'm still a little disappointed that what I am doing is coming out looking Impressionist, and I keep yearning to capture more of a Fauvist/Blaue Reiter vibe, but today I am more content to let the work become what it is. Maybe I can rock my Fauvism next time.)
So, whatever was causing my mood, causing me to feel so negative about my painting, seems to have eased off some. I'm glad I pushed on and found my way to this somewhat better place.
