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something I am grateful for today
Feb. 18th, 2020 11:16 amgetting over the flu and being more artistically productive over the last couple of days -- feels good to pick up a paintbrush again
something I am grateful for today
Feb. 11th, 2020 07:34 pmThe life and work and artistry of Pat Metheny Group keyboardist Lyle Mays, who left us yesterday. Lyle was always one of my fave keyboardists, and in fact at first I was listening to PMG for him more than for The Mighty Pat, who took me longer to appreciate...
something I am grateful for today
Feb. 2nd, 2020 10:44 ammanaging to keep this year's New Year's quasi-resolution so far and draw something every day, even if it's only a circle -- although, to be fair, so far it has always been more than that... anything to maintain my drawing muscle memory, that was my goal for this year after letting last year slide so much
something I am grateful for today
Jan. 11th, 2020 06:46 pma new-found pleasure in having all the dishes (and/or laundry) washed, dried, and put away
pondering reading and writing
Jan. 9th, 2020 05:59 pmI am currently reading The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren, and am about five or so chapters in at the moment. Last fall I read my first Lauren book, Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating, and I fell for that book hard. I re-read it after New Year's and fell harder. So, in a sense, this current book has a lot to live up to, and I am beginning to suspect that it will not.
By the end of Hazel's first chapter, I was in love with her and couldn't wait to see what happened with her. (More to the point, she happens to be the type of character that I usually find irritating: the fact that I found her lovable instead is a testament to Lauren's skill.) Today, several chapters into Olive's story, I, well... I don't dislike her. She's okay, I guess. I'm interested enough to keep reading, but I'm not compelled. I simply don't find Olive as captivating as I found Hazel.
And this got me thinking: I will bet you that Lauren (both members of that auctorial duo) love Olive. They found her story compelling enough to want to tell it. But, so far, I am already convinced that I will like this book by the time I reach the end, but I won't love it the way I love Josh and Hazel. [The characters and the novel.] This one isn't connecting the same way for me.
Which leads me to further thinking: I like all my characters. I like their stories enough that I want to tell them. But this doesn't mean that other people will.
Does this mean I have failed as a literary craftsman? I don't think so. What it means, I think, is that it simply underscores the fact that not all things are for all people. Just because one Lauren novel is for me, and very definitely so, doesn't mean that all of them necessarily will be, or have to be. (Although experience teaches us that a creator who makes something that clicks for you is more likely to make other things that will also click for you.) Just because you don't like my book doesn't mean it's a bad book. It only means that it's not for you.
In recent years I have come to rethink (very seriously) the whole notion of good and bad art. Good art communicates and connects -- with someone, somehow. But it will never do so with everyone. But we speak of good and bad art -- I have done so myself, long and often -- as if they are something far more objective than they can actually be.
Which brings me back to a point I keep returning to again and again in recent months: let people like what they like, and you go ahead and like what you like.
By the end of Hazel's first chapter, I was in love with her and couldn't wait to see what happened with her. (More to the point, she happens to be the type of character that I usually find irritating: the fact that I found her lovable instead is a testament to Lauren's skill.) Today, several chapters into Olive's story, I, well... I don't dislike her. She's okay, I guess. I'm interested enough to keep reading, but I'm not compelled. I simply don't find Olive as captivating as I found Hazel.
And this got me thinking: I will bet you that Lauren (both members of that auctorial duo) love Olive. They found her story compelling enough to want to tell it. But, so far, I am already convinced that I will like this book by the time I reach the end, but I won't love it the way I love Josh and Hazel. [The characters and the novel.] This one isn't connecting the same way for me.
Which leads me to further thinking: I like all my characters. I like their stories enough that I want to tell them. But this doesn't mean that other people will.
Does this mean I have failed as a literary craftsman? I don't think so. What it means, I think, is that it simply underscores the fact that not all things are for all people. Just because one Lauren novel is for me, and very definitely so, doesn't mean that all of them necessarily will be, or have to be. (Although experience teaches us that a creator who makes something that clicks for you is more likely to make other things that will also click for you.) Just because you don't like my book doesn't mean it's a bad book. It only means that it's not for you.
In recent years I have come to rethink (very seriously) the whole notion of good and bad art. Good art communicates and connects -- with someone, somehow. But it will never do so with everyone. But we speak of good and bad art -- I have done so myself, long and often -- as if they are something far more objective than they can actually be.
Which brings me back to a point I keep returning to again and again in recent months: let people like what they like, and you go ahead and like what you like.
something I am grateful for today
Dec. 2nd, 2019 06:54 pmpositive feedback on my work -- every once in a while, an unexpected bit will trickle in from an unanticipated corner, and it's always a pleasant surprise
something I am grateful for today
Nov. 25th, 2019 06:19 pmnot giving up on this painting lark yet
I'm finding my response to this process interesting. I don't love how this is going, but I'm not discouraged by it either. I am seeing one or two things that are turning out more or less how I envisioned (or hoped), and others that I will look upon as object lessons. I admit, a foolish corner of me was hoping I would turn out something presentable right out of the gate... but no, I need to learn and practise the same as anyone else. And voilà, here is me doing just that.
I'm finding my response to this process interesting. I don't love how this is going, but I'm not discouraged by it either. I am seeing one or two things that are turning out more or less how I envisioned (or hoped), and others that I will look upon as object lessons. I admit, a foolish corner of me was hoping I would turn out something presentable right out of the gate... but no, I need to learn and practise the same as anyone else. And voilà, here is me doing just that.
something I am grateful for today
Nov. 24th, 2019 08:37 pmsummoning the courage to take my first step toward painting
I haven't made a serious attempt to paint since high school. Back then I convinced myself that this is simply something I can't do. This year I feel ready to try again. For months I have been reading, studying, buying materials... today I actually did something.
This is only a first step, an underpainting for my test drive -- remains to be seen if I end up with anything usable, but I am already learning about how acrylics handle, and feel -- and have already learned that the process is a sensory pleasure on its own, so I look forward to continuing.
I haven't made a serious attempt to paint since high school. Back then I convinced myself that this is simply something I can't do. This year I feel ready to try again. For months I have been reading, studying, buying materials... today I actually did something.
This is only a first step, an underpainting for my test drive -- remains to be seen if I end up with anything usable, but I am already learning about how acrylics handle, and feel -- and have already learned that the process is a sensory pleasure on its own, so I look forward to continuing.
NaNoWriMo update
Nov. 19th, 2019 06:51 amI participated in NaNoWriMo again this year. After last year's efforts resulted in my first novel, I have continued to write in the year following (as you will know if you read this journal faithfully), and this month I was faced with writing my fifth.
I hit the 50K word count on Nov. 10, which memory told me was faster than I managed it last year. Memory was, in fact, mistaken, because when I look thru last year's archive, I see that I hit the 50K on Nov. 7 last year. Ah well. This time, I went on to write almost 15K more on Nov. 11 to complete the novel. [And never again will I cram that much into one day! I woke the next morning with aching hands and arms, and sandy eyes. Why subject myself to that when it isn't necessary? I just got so caught up in the rush of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.] Since then, I have read through it three times to proofread and make tiny tweaks. In any case, well ahead of the Nov. 30 deadline -- in both cases, I attribute my speed to preparing an extremely thorough outline beforehand.
As I sit here now, I'm not sure how I feel about these books. Ambivalent. They all sound like I wrote them. They are all part of a series of sorts, so I suppose a consistency of tone is a good thing. But I'm wondering if what I actually have is a consistency of voice, or a sameyness that could become a rut, if it hasn't already. On the other hand, I can't see myself writing something wildly different next time just because I feel I somehow owe it to someone, if it isn't the book I actually have in me. So far, I've been writing what I want, because I want. I'm making no effort to court a mass audience. I realize that no book is for everyone, and my books certainly aren't for everyone. And I eventually realized that all I'm hoping for is that I can find the people my books are for, without being particularly worried about how many of those folks there might be. If I can please five or six readers on a regular basis, I can be happy with that. As long as I am one of them, and so far I am. I do like my own books, and if someone else had written them, I would still like them. I guess that's the most important thing.
I also wonder if the fact that I don't concern myself with earning anything from them, or achieving what is normally understood to be success with them, makes me a dilettante. If so, I can live with that.
I hit the 50K word count on Nov. 10, which memory told me was faster than I managed it last year. Memory was, in fact, mistaken, because when I look thru last year's archive, I see that I hit the 50K on Nov. 7 last year. Ah well. This time, I went on to write almost 15K more on Nov. 11 to complete the novel. [And never again will I cram that much into one day! I woke the next morning with aching hands and arms, and sandy eyes. Why subject myself to that when it isn't necessary? I just got so caught up in the rush of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.] Since then, I have read through it three times to proofread and make tiny tweaks. In any case, well ahead of the Nov. 30 deadline -- in both cases, I attribute my speed to preparing an extremely thorough outline beforehand.
As I sit here now, I'm not sure how I feel about these books. Ambivalent. They all sound like I wrote them. They are all part of a series of sorts, so I suppose a consistency of tone is a good thing. But I'm wondering if what I actually have is a consistency of voice, or a sameyness that could become a rut, if it hasn't already. On the other hand, I can't see myself writing something wildly different next time just because I feel I somehow owe it to someone, if it isn't the book I actually have in me. So far, I've been writing what I want, because I want. I'm making no effort to court a mass audience. I realize that no book is for everyone, and my books certainly aren't for everyone. And I eventually realized that all I'm hoping for is that I can find the people my books are for, without being particularly worried about how many of those folks there might be. If I can please five or six readers on a regular basis, I can be happy with that. As long as I am one of them, and so far I am. I do like my own books, and if someone else had written them, I would still like them. I guess that's the most important thing.
I also wonder if the fact that I don't concern myself with earning anything from them, or achieving what is normally understood to be success with them, makes me a dilettante. If so, I can live with that.
something I am grateful for today
Oct. 29th, 2019 07:36 pmmy life
Lately I have become keenly and repeatedly aware that pretty much everyone I know is having troubles -- most often health and/or financial -- and their problems all seem so much worse than mine. I mean, my life is not amazing and I don't walk around in a state of bliss. I have my share of frustrations and challenges, I have my moments of sadness or anger. But everyone else's life seems so much worse. Just like that old saw about how, if you could throw away all your troubles into a pile, and everyone in the world had to throw theirs into the same pile, and then you had to pick a person's worth to take back, you would choose your own. It sounds so glib to so many, but there is a mighty truth in there. I just never thought that The Ideal Life would ever look like what I've got, somehow....
Lately I have become keenly and repeatedly aware that pretty much everyone I know is having troubles -- most often health and/or financial -- and their problems all seem so much worse than mine. I mean, my life is not amazing and I don't walk around in a state of bliss. I have my share of frustrations and challenges, I have my moments of sadness or anger. But everyone else's life seems so much worse. Just like that old saw about how, if you could throw away all your troubles into a pile, and everyone in the world had to throw theirs into the same pile, and then you had to pick a person's worth to take back, you would choose your own. It sounds so glib to so many, but there is a mighty truth in there. I just never thought that The Ideal Life would ever look like what I've got, somehow....
something I am grateful for today
Oct. 13th, 2019 06:55 pmBear with me a second:
Back in midsummer, I finished my fourth novel, The Night Shift. During the course of my research for it, I was introduced to the paintings of Gabriele Münter and something clicked. Just as happened last fall, when I was first reading Alice Munro, and suddenly felt a sense of inspiration along the lines of "I could do this" [I don't think I would have started writing fiction without her example], this year I found myself looking at Münter's work and thinking, "I could do this, too".
The idea finally coalesced into another new project: when they are published, my novels will need covers, and I have decided to paint them. Since then, I have been slowly girding my loins, preparing to learn to paint. Part of that learning has been wandering around taking reference photos of my surroundings -- I have a rough idea of the subject matter for my covers, so I know what sorts of views I want to capture. I have been playing photographer for a few weeks now.
I am grateful for the renewed appreciation of [and pleasure in] light and colour which I am gaining thru my photography, and for the increased mindfulness and "being in the moment" this project has brought into my life. I am finding this process more enjoyable and enriching than I imagined.
Back in midsummer, I finished my fourth novel, The Night Shift. During the course of my research for it, I was introduced to the paintings of Gabriele Münter and something clicked. Just as happened last fall, when I was first reading Alice Munro, and suddenly felt a sense of inspiration along the lines of "I could do this" [I don't think I would have started writing fiction without her example], this year I found myself looking at Münter's work and thinking, "I could do this, too".
The idea finally coalesced into another new project: when they are published, my novels will need covers, and I have decided to paint them. Since then, I have been slowly girding my loins, preparing to learn to paint. Part of that learning has been wandering around taking reference photos of my surroundings -- I have a rough idea of the subject matter for my covers, so I know what sorts of views I want to capture. I have been playing photographer for a few weeks now.
I am grateful for the renewed appreciation of [and pleasure in] light and colour which I am gaining thru my photography, and for the increased mindfulness and "being in the moment" this project has brought into my life. I am finding this process more enjoyable and enriching than I imagined.
something I am grateful for today
Oct. 11th, 2019 08:35 pmanticipation of NaNoWriMo -- can feel myself beginning to strain at the leash
something I am grateful for today
Aug. 25th, 2019 08:23 pmsomething that came upon me in a sudden flash of awareness this morning: I never go hungry
