learning to view myself and my work more charitably

learning to ink with a brush a bit better -- I still won't impress or amaze anyone, but I can do things with the brush now that I couldn't a few weeks ago, so the practice is starting to have an effect

catching someone's interest

getting a good progress report at physio

Despite today's focus on giving thanks, I find myself overwhelmed with bitterness and despair about human awfulness just now. I am so tired of it. I am so tired.

In large part I blame social media and the internet for this -- and, by extension, I blame myself for my willingness to participate in it. (Time for me to pull back a bit from the Need To Find Out, I suppose.) Here's how I am seeing it now:

I remember, on TV back in the sixties, there were fundraising commercials aimed at alleviating world hunger. And these commercials were filled with film clips of listless skeletal black children with flies on them. I also remember -- more vaguely, because I had less incentive to endure -- live satellite feeds from the battlefields of Vietnam. Those of you too young to remember that, might not realize that that TV coverage played a large part in fanning public opposition to the war, which was why the anti-war protests of the time were so vigorous. (Vietnam taught the government to never again allow media coverage of a war which was not first vetted and edited by The Powers That Be before being disseminated.)

Now imagine if those commercials and news feeds were the only things on TV, playing 24/7. No one back then would watch TV nearly as much as they did, if that were the case. There could still be people who would argue that "this is just showing you what's actually happening", "you need to be aware of what's going on in the world", "you can't hide from reality", etc, with just as much validity as I hear such arguments being made today. And yet, back then, there was no expectation that we somehow owed it to society to have the TV on all the time.

My point, basically, is that this side of the world was not in your face all the time. There was no perception that we should expect that, that it should be normal. But it seems to me that this perception exists for the internet. To allow yourself any respite from the myriad negativities in every corner of the globe is framed as an ostrich-like moral failing on your part.

I believe that our minds and souls were not built to withstand these conditions indefinitely, any more than our bodies were built to withstand the gravity of Jupiter. This has become all too much, and I need to take steps to nurture myself in the face of it. Still pondering what the best steps might be...

all my fellow Canucks expressing their thankfulness on this designated day - the tone may be muted compared to previous years, but we still manage to appreciate the good