epiphany

Ever since I was about ten, I always hated my nose. Way too big.

I complained about it to anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby, and during high school I'd often tell people how I planned to save up for a rhinoplasty. Once I reached middle age, I was more or less resigned to it and didn't dwell on it so much, didn't plan to change it anymore cuz it seemed like a waste of money... but I still never liked it. Even today, I am fussy about my selfies, finding tricky camera angles to try and minimize the “damage”. Clearly still self-conscious about it.

But, the other day, when I was talking with a friend about those old days, I suddenly realized: no one else had ever said anything about it.

I mean, I was bullied and picked on a lot as a kid, about numerous things... but never about that.

Why was I the only one who had a problem with it? Where did this idea come from? [Will I ever know? And how much does that matter?]