just when you thought it was safe to read my journal...

[johncomic]

1. I was declared an Honorary Girl in 1981.
2. I have a BFA, an MA in sociology and half of a PhD in sociology as well as a Junior Certificate in mechanical drafting. After high school I was in school a total of nine more years.
3. I have a little tucked-away bundle of CDs by Billie Piper, Jessica Simpson, Mandy Moore, Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears (Mandy is my fave).
4. If those singers had been around when I was in high school, I would’ve found Britney and Mandy to be totally schwing-worthy. (Okay, Jessica too.)
5. As it is, though, I never had a date in high school till the second-last month of my senior year.
6. And yet I was engaged to the girl across the street when we were both seven. Unfortunately she moved away the following year and I never saw her again.
7. Two scenes I always wish I had belonged to: the London punk scene in ’76-’77, and the L.A. jazz scene in ’52-’53 (I’d wanna be an alto saxophonist and sit in with Gerry Mulligan).
[Aside: I just now flicked on the radio and they’re playing Gerry Mulligan. Woh.]
8. To this day, I have never mourned as intensely and long over a human being as I did over my dog when she was put down when I was 14. She was a fat, very gentle beagle named Mitzi.
9. I always let my friends slip away, I don’t make a point of staying in touch. I dunno why. For me it’s enough to know that they’re alive and well. Only a few of them seem to really understand that -- they are the ones who pick up right where we left off as if we just saw each other yesterday.
10. Last year one of my stories was optioned by a movie producer.
11. I think Dawn French is one of the planet’s Supreme Hotties.
12. When I was a kid I read science textbooks and dictionaries for fun.
13. Trying to think of any genre of music that isn’t represented in my record collection, and I can’t. (I even have some opera in there, without even meaning to.)
14. I have written songs and then recorded them, where I sang, played all the instruments, and ran all the equipment. I am a truly solo artiste.
15. If I could take only one album to a desert island, it would be Queensryche’s Operation:mindcrime. (My full Top Ten list is available on request.)
16. Two natural sights that can engross me for ages are the full moon on a clear night and sitting on the shore watching and listening to the waves.
17. When I was six I suddenly developed two or three phobias and anxieties that I hadn’t had before. Lately I’ve begun to suspect that something happened back then which I’ve never been able to remember.
18. I was never afraid of thunderstorms. Made a point of raising my babies to not be either.
19. My most common recurring nightmare is being attacked by big dogs [almost always black]. I can be having a very plain boring dream and suddenly a big black dog will come running out of somewhere and lunge for my throat. Been dreaming dogs since I was at least three years old if not before.
20. My idea of the perfect vacation is to go to Tokyo and shop, then spend a while on a tropical beach.
21. The closest I came to that perfect vacation was visiting L.A. in ’87... I made it to Long Beach and shopped in Little Tokyo. The thing that shocked me most about L.A. is how normal most of it is: plain little streets and houses and plain little people in them...
22. When I was three, a 7-year-old girl was giving me a piggyback ride. She lost her grip, I fell face down on our gravel driveway, and one of the stones broke my left elbow.
23. While I was in hospital with that broken elbow, apparently I freaked out the nurses cuz I was already reading fluently by then.
24. Sometimes I cry at movies. (Depends on the movie, of course...)
25. My favorite movie [and my candidate for one of the most misunderstood movies ever] is How to Murder Your Wife.
26. I still listen to metal and punk, old and new. My kids think I am ridiculous.
27. I’ve been on Zoloft since the mid-90s and honestly believe that I would not be here today without it.
28. My self-image is still stuck in my childhood. Back then I was short and kinda fat, which is how I still feel and how I still see myself. Objectively I can easily see that today I am not short and I am more-than-just-kinda fat....
29. All I’ve ever wanted is to produce successful comics and/or successful albums. I don’t wanna be famous: I want my work to be famous. I wanna be able to walk down the street unrecognized.
30. I still think Calvin & Hobbes is the greatest comic strip of all time. And most of you wouldn’t recognize Bill Watterson if you passed him on the street either...
31. I always feel a little guilty if I like something everyone else also likes. But it’s okay as long as “I got there first”, though...
32. I am addicted to reading self-help books. Not applying them, just reading them. (I’m going to apply them, though... soon...)
33. I am the first person I know personally who built a web page. Also the first I know to shop online. Early ’95 it was a whole different world.
34. I buy untranslated Japanese comics and “read” them by studying the pictures.
35. My first professionally published art was children’s book illustrations when I was 14.
36. I don’t follow sports -- any sports -- never did, aside from watching the Stanley Cup playoffs a few times and the World Series once or twice. This puts me at a distinct disadvantage at most parties I go to.
37. Fortunately I rarely go to any.
38. I enjoy (actively enjoy) solitude more than anyone else I know.
39. My memory for musical and comics trivia is considerable... but when it comes to things like birthdays, appointments, instructions etc. I am hopeless.
40. My hand fits exactly -- line for line, groove for groove, bump for bump -- into Jack Lemmon’s handprint in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater.
41. I don’t understand those who make a fuss about Lara Flynn Boyle, I think she’s scary-looking.
42. One of my brothers is gay. We all know it, but he’s never come out and no one in the family has ever mentioned it to anyone else in the family. This is the sort of up-tight, repressed, Sgt.-Schultz-denial home I was raised in.
43. Despite my discomfort [bordering on true stage fright] about being in front of people, I once conducted an entire church service (including preaching the sermon) when I was 18.
44. A few years later I was a member of a new-wave trio and ended up performing on stages a lot, which helped me get way more used to it.
45. The last time my head did not hurt at all was Monday, November 13, 1989, from about 2 to 4pm EST. It was a cosmic experience.
46. I once saw a UFO. (Maybe twice, but once for sure.)
47. Playboy yes, Penthouse no.
48. As further indication of my vanilla tastes, I have no interest in B&D, dom/sub, or any of the kinkier spaces beyond.
49. I still get a childlike kick out of writing to celebrity heroes and having them write back. Many people find my choices of hero kinda odd, though: e.g., one of my great treasures is a couple of letters from Lynn Johnston...
50. I own several pieces of original comic strip art, including one of Mort Walker’s Beetle Baileys. They were all given to me by their creators, even though I never asked for them (maybe because I never asked for them)...
51. Hank Ketcham [Dennis the Menace] had a favorite kind of antique pen nib he liked to draw with, but ran out of them years ago. I found a source online that still carried them and passed word on to Hank (even though he didn’t know me from Adam, it was the first time I had ever written him). He ordered a new batch and enjoyed them in the months before he finally passed on. So I actually managed to do something nice for one of the Giants...
52. My favorite popsicles are chocolate and banana. But there’s no flavor of them that I won’t eat...
53. Since I started wearing orthopedic insoles, my feet have started to finally develop arches... and consequently I am about a half-inch taller now.
54. I once had a powerful psychic experience of hearing someone’s thoughts like their voice inside my head. Not just a hunch, I heard actual words even though they didn’t speak. And I what I picked up was 100% accurate too.
55. I have always wanted to perform “Sour Suite” by The Guess Who in a karaoke bar.
56. I never learned to drive until I was 37.
57. I hate wearing a tie. Hate it.
58. Some ways that I am perceptually typical: I think I am a good driver, and I think my kids are unusually attractive, talented and smart.
59. John was always my fave Beatle.
60. And it bugs me when Julian sounds just like him, but I’m okay with Liam Gallagher sounding just like him.
61. First concert I ever went to was Sept. ’76 -- KISS, with Blue Öyster Cult opening. Ace’s guitar was tuned a half-step sharp but fortunately he blew it up after a few songs and put on an in-tune one...
62. I still believe that following the rules and “being good” is the right way to live.
63. But only recently did I realize that living that way doesn’t “work”... cuz if it did, then no one would cheat. So I’ve set myself up to live “right” and settle for whatever that gets me... (I’m still wrestling with this one)
64. There is no one I trust 100%. Partly cuz it’s how I was raised, mostly cuz I don’t trust myself 100%.
65. Recently Gary Glitter and Pete Townshend have been nabbed on kiddie porn charges. My first reaction was “why would Rock Stars want/need to get mixed up in that kinda shit?!” Now I think, well, they’re all just people, and when you think how many rock stars there are, the law of averages says that some of them will do this...
66. Don’t ever ask me to watch Bastard Out of Carolina with you. I won’t. Ever again.
67. I always seem to go for The Hottie’s Friend. On Gidget, I liked Larue. On Rhoda, I liked Brenda. I go for Phoebe, the least glamorous Friend. Mary Ann yes, Ginger no. Bailey Quarters, not Jennifer Marlowe. etc....
68. And in this world where The Blue-Eyed Blonde rules, my world is rocked by brown eyes and brunettes.
69. The least private place I ever had sex was on a Greyhound bus. A full one.
70. I always used to say that I wasn’t bothered about losing my hair. Now this year, I finally find myself bothered. (And really, it’s just getting thin in a couple spots, it’s not like a sudden disaster or anything...)
71. Albums that at first I thought were utter insanity but later came to love: Talking Heads’ More Songs About Buildings and Food, and John Coltrane’s Ascension.
72. We have one Starbucks in town here, and I like it, however uncool that might be.
73. I have always loved the smell of fireworks. (And the look of them too, of course.)
74. I once planned to open a pub called The Toast & Jello -- named after the only dishes I knew how to prepare at that time.
75. My passion for fiction seems to have largely deserted me. In high school I devoured Lord of the Rings and Dune over and over again rabidly, and would’ve killed to see film versions of them. Now there are film versions of both and I have yet to see either one. (Well, I’ve seen enough of LOTR to realize that it is good. I’ll watch it one of these days soon...)
76. My favorite novel is Islandia by Austin Tappan Wright.
77. Close runners-up are Nova by Samuel R. Delany, The Dragon Masters by Jack Vance, and anything by Cordwainer Smith -- all such intensely visual science fiction that any or all of them would make great movies.
78. I still find it jarring when a song that in my day was avant garde, underground, cutting-edge, etc., turns up as the theme for a TV commercial.
79. My brothers live within a one-hour radius from me, and I speak to them once or twice a year. And I’m okay with that and they seem to be too.
80. In eighth grade I was unanimously voted to play the lead in our class presentation of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I was carried bodily to first rehearsal but they soon learned that they could not coerce me to perform.
81. I still have my appendix and tonsils.
82. When I was a kid, my whole family always told me I was gonna ruin my eyes and need glasses because I strained them and worked them so hard. To date, I still don’t wear glasses... and I’m the only one of the six of us who doesn’t, so there.
83. I have a big nose, small hands, and average-size feet... so I sure know how to keep the ladies guessin’...
84. The thing I feel worst about in my life is the time I nearly smothered my little brother -- on purpose. I could see the fear of God in his eyes when I finally let up on him. He forgave me and forgot about it years before I ever could begin to...
85. I’m sure I have lied to everyone I’ve ever known. Sometimes just a tiny one, but it’s there.
86. Even if I hadn’t had kids, I’d still be watching cartoons now anyway.
87. The closest I ever came to a sports victory was in tenth grade when I won a single wrestling match in gym class all year. It was against the only guy in class shorter than me and I weighed about twice what he did, so it kinda makes sense.
88. I sometimes fantasize sexually about women who are “just friends”; can’t remember if that’s considered normal or not. (Maybe we’re supposed to limit our fantasies to media figures etc.)
(Who makes those rules anyhoo??!!)
89. I was raised by Fundamentalist Baptists and my religious beliefs are still fairly orthodox, which surprises a lot of people. But I have determined that the whole thing is actually way more complicated than what they taught me growing up...
90. Hamburgers gold medal, hot dogs silver.
91. Sometimes I can hear fluorescent lights when no one else can, even though my hearing is not particularly acute.
92. And yet my sense of smell is almost non-existent.
93. Lab tests have told me that I am extremely allergic to cockroaches... so I guess it’s a good thing I never meet any.
94. I am also allergic to horses, and to adhesives (including “non-allergenic” surgical tape, my doctor has tried every kind there is). So what for most people involves “a quick band-aid” becomes a knotty logistical problem for me...
95. Swimming is one of those things I suck at but really love doing anyway. (Playing pool is another...)
96. I learned about sex when I was eight... but it was another four years before I believed it.
97. I was very nervous about flying until the first time I actually tried it -- turns out I love it!
98. When my carpal tunnel got really bad and they weren’t sure if they could fix it, I took up harmonica so I could play an instrument that didn’t use my fingers or arms that much. (Sort of unavoidable that I got into blues at the same time...)
99. The thing that got me into both torch singing and big band music was when I saw New York, New York, of all things...
100. Back when I was a twenty-something, I could be dressed and made-up to look like a damb convincing woman.