abstract blather

[johncomic]

Had an interesting thought recently:

I did something -- don't even remember what, some minor goof-up -- and I was about to say something to myself along the lines of I am such a jerk or that probably made me look like a doof... but then suddenly said to myself I don't have to have an opinion on how my actions reflect on me.

I wasn't even sure where it came from, but I sat with it for a while. If I make a mistake, I don't have to decide that it makes me look bad. I don't have to make any sort of value judgment on myself. In fact, I might not even have to make a value judgment on what I did. I did something, there it is. And here I am.

I mean, I see other people make mistakes and I don't think Huh! You are a moron! or whatever. So why should I do it to myself? And I don't even need to worry if other people are thinking that I now look like a goof. If they're gonna think that, they will do so with or without my help. And most of the time, they won't bother thinking it anyway. And how much do I care about those who do think it?

I realized that judging myself [usually harshly] is a reflex that I have always done without thinking about it at all. But all of a sudden I saw that I can choose not to do it. I mean, if I insist on judging myself I still can. But I am gonna try giving it a miss for a while and see what happens.

Comments

[viridescence13]

I never realized how often I put myself down (calling myself stupid, dumb, etc.) for doing little silly things until I had a child. I didn't want her repeating things like that, so I stopped saying it out loud. Now to work on stopping it in my head.

[johncomic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, some of us never notice that we do it -- or we think that it's “normal” and that we “ought to do it”...

[brigitte lichtenberger-fenz (from livejournal.com)]

Yes, i agree, and we'd better never say to a kid, it's dumb, silly or whatever. The action may be silly, but not the human... Well, hopefully. But on the other side, it doesn't do any harm to be aware of ourselves when we do things well! :-)

[johncomic.livejournal.com]

I'm still a firm believer in back-patting, Brigitte! :D

[wickedambiguity.livejournal.com]

Interesting self-observation.. kudos.

I do the same thing, and I think most people do. For me, I am highly critical of my actions because I perceive that others are just as critical - however, like you, I think I have gradually realized that most people are far more critical of themselves than the are of me. Bearing this in mind, when I make mistakes, I now try to smile enigmatically and imply that I meant to do that. My cats taught me how to do it, and it seems to work quite well. :-)

getting back to...

[pingback-bot.livejournal.com]

User toothfairy13 referenced to your post from getting back to... (http://toothfairy13.livejournal.com/3760.html) saying: [...] recent post [...]