something I am grateful for today

a surprising insight

Was talking with a friend today, and I expressed a feminist opinion which isn't often heard from men. And they said, “Well, you're an exception... and your exceptions are part of what I like about you.”

I then said that, rather than be called an exception [because that has connotations of being exceptional, which I ain't], I preferred to think of myself as an outlier, because that sounds more like “odd”. But then I said, “I'm okay with my oddness, though — if I could change and be more normal, I don't think I would.”

And, in retrospect, this took me somewhat aback. After a lifetime of being intensely self-critical, I suddenly found myself speaking up for myself: admitting to myself as well as my friend that I am basically content with how I turned out. There are a few things I wish I was better at, but overall there isn't really much about myself I would change.

It's almost like these feelings caught me by surprise, I have no idea where they came from... but I like them, and I need to remember this place of self-acceptance that I found myself in today.

support your local [I mean global] indie

I don't remember how I discovered them, but there's this Swiss indie band on Bandcamp called the blue herons. A few times a year they will record and release a new song, and basically give it away — their sutff is “pay what you want”, even if “what you want” is zero. When I stumbled across them, they had about half a dozen songs out, and I got them all for free.

Eventually I realized that I listened to them so often, and enjoyed them so much, that it was only right that I give something back. So when their next song came out, I volunteered to pay way too much for it, to pay enough for all the earlier freebies. And I've paid for every song since then, more like the price I would expect to pay for any other song. I feel better knowing that I am doing my bit to help support an indie creator.

And for the last few, I haven't even listened to it first, I just buy it and download it as soon as it comes out. We're at the point now where I trust them, cuz they have never let me down. Their periodic reappearance in my inbox is a source of quiet delight in my life.