something I am grateful for today

[johncomic]

My dad died on this date six years ago.  But the only reason I remember that is because I have it written down on my calendar.  Otherwise I wouldn't remember.**

But I still instantly remember the date and year that he was born, or when he married my mom.  When I think about him, I don't think about how I felt on this day... I think about the times he made us smile, or laugh, I think about the things he did that made him him. Today I am grateful that my memories of him that endure are the good ones.


** one of my very best friends died in the early 90s -- I can remember roughly what year, and roughly what time of year, but none of it exactly, because I didn't write it down. But in his case as well, I instantly remember when he was born.  To me it isn't all that important when someone leaves us; what really matters is that they were here.  That's how it works for me, at least.

Comments

[alisonebruce.livejournal.com]

My mother died on my sister's birthday. Hard to forget. My father died on his wedding anniversary. I remember the day my grandfather died for similar reasons, even though I wasn't around. He died on Boxing Day. Nana mentioned it every year. Nana died on Valentine's Day.

I know my aunt died mid-November because it was a week or so after I last talked to her, which was on November 6, my sister's birthday. Things like that make the dates stick in my head. However, I often have trouble remembering the year.

When I think of my sister, I think of her alive and well - or at least wellish - not lying in hospital dying. On the other hand, I'll never forget the nurse trying to get my nieces to drink something while we waited to sign the necessary papers. In the end they accepted a can of ginger ale just to stop her fussing.